I need help removing her.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
