My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
