Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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