areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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