grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
