i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
