I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize