They have a pepper shaker for pot.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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