i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
