The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
