maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The air was thick with penises
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You pole danced in your parka.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize