Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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