i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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