I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
