? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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