that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
