If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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