so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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