Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
