I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
