Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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