So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Someone shattered a urinal.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
