Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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