I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
