Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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