omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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