: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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