In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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