If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
