i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
