Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
