He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
