I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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