My room smells like vodka and shame
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
