i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
