We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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