Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
