did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
