she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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