Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
