I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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