Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
