She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
