In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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