was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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