Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
