my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
