At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
