glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
