so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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