it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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