I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
