I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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