Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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