am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
