Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize