At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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