Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
