When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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