escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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