Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
