Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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